I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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