My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
