is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
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What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
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I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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