Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
