I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
