The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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