it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
