Old men and throwing up are my life now.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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