is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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