At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize