i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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