i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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