i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Be still, my beating vagina.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
