I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
