I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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