No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
