so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
