conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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