I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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