He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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