Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize