Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
