dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
