it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
