ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
farters have to be the big spoon...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
