normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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