Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
