the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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