that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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