You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
