Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
