I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
