We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
