I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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