8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
