look no pants
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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