Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
