His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
