I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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