I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
