WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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