Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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