so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
