Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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