Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
