Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just googled if crying burns calories
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
