A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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