these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize