on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
