so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
