ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
