I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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