It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
