Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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