i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
