mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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