Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize