well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Everyone says I win the strip club
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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