my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
