allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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