ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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