she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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