I cut my penus on the lid.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize