at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
