1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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